relationship by heeding one aspect of a message means that you will injure the relationship by disregarding another. Misunderstanding, conflict and pathology are the result of messages that influence and manipulate covertly, while the overt message might suggest the contradiction. The cultural phrase, “Damned if I do, damned if I don’t” applies here. So as you consider the strategic process in the subsequent pages, consider this illustration, “Only the brilliant clinicians understand this chapter.”